100 Awesome Life Hacks

100 awesome life hacks to make your life easier

100 awesome life hacks

if you’re stuck on an annoying call, put your phone on airplane mode instead of just hanging up. The other person will see “call failed” instead of “call ended”
Look up your buildings washer/dryer model on eBay and order a key for it. I haven’t paid for laundry in years and it cost me $8.00! Sleep like a baby knowing you’re not paying for on-site laundry.
If the person sitting in front of you on a flight reclines their seat all the way back and leaves you with no room, turn on the air con above you to full blast and point it at the top of their head.

If a relative keeps asking you about having kids, lie that the wife is pregnant. A few months later, tell them there was a miscarriage so they'll feel uncomfortable bringing up the subject again.
Save business cards of people you don't like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write "sorry" on the back and leave it on the windshield.
Give your kids a bag of coal each for Christmas this year. When they cry just tell them Santa is wrong and you'll get it sorted. Once the shops open buy what they asked for. They will think you are a legend and Santa is a dick. You will also get the presents for half price.
If you’re initiating a divorce, secretly arrange consultations with ALL the best divorce attorneys in your area before choosing one and filing. Once they have met with you, even briefly, they are considered biased and will have to recuse themselves from representing your spouse.
If you live near a US military base, it's a really good time to install Tinder.
f you ever get caught sleeping at your desk at work then say "They told me at the Blood Bank that this would happen" when asked for a reason
If a computer illiterate relative/friend asks you to fix their slow computer, boost their cursor speed by a notch or two. They’ll instantly notice a difference and thank you!
When you give someone a gift card as a gift, write down the card number and code. Then after a year or two, check the balance and if they hadn't used it yet, just use it yourself. They obviously won't know or care.
if you accidentally scratch someone’s car, write a note in shaky handwriting saying you are 5 years old and fell off your bike. Then leave $5 saying it’s all you had
If you glue a dead wasp to the palm of your hand, you can hit your boss on the back of the head as hard as you like and act like you saved him.
s a parent of a baby, smell their diaper. If you DON’T smell poop, say, “Woah, somebody has a poopy diaper. “ Then take them to the other room and pretend to change them. Then the next time they poop tell your spouse, “It’s your turn. I changed them last time.”
If you have a significant unexplained employment gap that is hurting your resume claim that you were providing full time end of life care for a grandparent (or other older relative).
Want your commercial to be seen by millions of people for free? Put it on YouTube with the title "The commercial the Superbowl refused to run."
Concerned about unvaccinated children spreading infection? Start rumours amongst antivaxxers that exposure to vaccinated children can cause their unvaccinated children to develop autism....the antivaxxers will be sure to keep their children at a safe distance.
If you come across a dating profile begging for money, send them a request for the same amount instead of a gift. Many times they're too careless to read and will automatically accept it because they assume another desperate guy is sending cash.
If you decide to adopt kids, tell them that if anyone makes fun of them for being adopted, they should say "At least I was wanted. You were probably a mistake and your parents didn't have the heart to tell you.".
In your last year of college “lose” your student ID and get a new one. The exp date will reset and you can get another 4 years of discounts
Buy the cheapest tickets available for a sporting event. Once inside, check Ticketmaster and Stubhub for better seats that didn’t sell and go sit there.
Now is a good time for a cheap wedding. You can send “wish we could invite you” cards and probably still get gifts without paying for a big wedding.
Need to go to the ER? Don’t use your real name and don’t bring your ID!
Donate to homeless shelters in the next town over. The majority of homeless people tend to go where there are available services, and this will reduce the number of homeless in your town.
If your company doesn't pay you for sick leaves/ doesn't permit you to take sick leave, show up at work with a flu/pox and *accidentally* infect everybody. They will eventually change policies
If you ever rob a bank, make sure to hold your middle finger in front of you the whole time so the news has to blur your face in the security footage.
make your edibles in the shape of dog treats and take them anywhere you want. If a drug dog finds them, his handler will just think he's being a silly boy.
Keep hydrated at work. You'll need to take a lot of bathroom breaks. This will make up for all the breaks smokers get. Might as well double up and start smoking
hat koalas have a 20% chance of being infected with Chlamydia with many more carrying the disease. If you are harboring koala refugees from the Australian bushfires, and you cheated on your spouse and got chlamydia, use this as an excuse.
henever buying something online, try using the coupon code "military". Many sites have a military discount and don't require any proof of military service. I have seen up to 30% off with this coupon code.
Learn how to read braille and create a cheat/answer sheet for a test and put it in your hoodie pocket. You can feel the answers with your fingers without looking away from your test.
Paper due at 11:59? Nowhere close to being done? Submit a paper you've done for another class and then use the time between then and when your professor emails you saying, "Oops! Looks like you submitted the wrong paper" to work on your actual paper
Remember all those sketchy websites on Google, that let you watch any movie or TV show you wanted for free? They're all on duckduckgo.com now
If you squash a memory foam pillow then fart into it while it expands back out it sucks the fart smell in for 5 or so minutes so when the next person lays their head on it the fart particles get re-released around their head.
Need a discount for an online purchase? Try variations of "sorry", "sorry15", "sorry20", etc. Companies will often have unadvertised coupon codes available to give to customers for faulty products or shipping mistakes.
If you don't want to make a call but may later need to prove that you, in fact, did make a call but they didn't pick up, turn airplane mode on and make a call.
Need friends? Create an attractive fake tinder profile of the opposite sex, start leading on a bunch of people, arrange a date with all of them on the same time, same place. Show up as well. Announce that they must have pulled a prank on all of you and suggest you all go drinking together.
Want to get into a gated community and don’t know the code? Try 9911. Most communities use it as a backup code for emergency services to get in quickly.
hen I don't want to get caught plagiarising off of Wikipedia I translate the article to French then Hindi then back to English and chip off grammatical errors and get praised for my hard work.
If a website requires you to enter payment information before getting a free trial, create an account on the Spanish or Belgium PayPal since those don't require you to enter a credit card to create the account, and then just add it to your payment info.
If you plan on going to prison, learn to cut hair. Barbers are greatly appreciated by other inmates and you’ll likely be spared when it comes to prison violence
If someone calls you fat, just tell them you used to be 75 lbs heavier. They end up looking like an asshole and you end up looking accomplished.
Tell your friends that you've made them a partial life insurance beneficiary. They'll feel obligated to do the same for you, and will only find out you lied if you die first.
Everytime you eat at a restaurant, vote it “unfriendly for kids” on Google Reviews, so you are less likely to have to deal with annoying little kids should you eat there again.
Starting a new job? No matter what the reality is you now have four, alive grandparents
If you work in retail make a fake e-mail and write an e-mail to your boss/store praising yourself
Don't get caught by your boss reading news or sports articles on your computer at work. Quickly copy the content of the article into an email and read it from there. Your boss will think you are dealing with an intensive email and will leave you alone.
egister to vote with the political party you do not align with. Screw up redistricting efforts, bias polling numbers, make outreach less efficient, vote against the front runner in a primary, and in the end you can still vote for your favorite candidate.
Want to cut into another lane of traffic but nobody will let you in? Cut in front of a Tesla, autopilot will force the car to stop.
If you’re driving next to a cop with drugs in your car and are trying to act normal, pick your nose. Your body language shows you aren’t concerned with anyone around you. The last thing you’d ever do if you were paranoid about a cop next to you is pick you nose.
Have a racist Grandmother? Photoshop a picture of your sibling with a black man or woman and tell her they’re engaged. She will take them out of the will and you’ll get a bigger share of the loot.
If you are a small business owner with a significant competitor, hire homeless people to bother their customers
How to dispute medical debt the right, effective way. LPT deleted me because it's a "legal" thing but this is actually a life pro top with a shade of shady in here so I guess it fits better here anyway.
Add a gift card to your online order to reach the free delivery threshold, then use said card for your next purchase and repeat.
When ordering ice cream, always ask for a single scoop. However, when the server is finished, say, “Actually I’d like a second scoop.” This forces them into matching the size of the first scoop, which tends to be bigger, since it was for a single cone.
Stop shaming anti-vaxxers. Humanity needs to reduce its population, and its better for everyone if the stupid people volunteer to thin their herds first.
Your food business is not getting enough customers? Make a fake hot tinder profile and tell your dates to meet at your restaurant, pretend to be late and tell them to order something expensive for you. Then after you serve them call off the date because your BF/GF found out or something.
If your coworker calls out of work sick, you can do the same 1-3 days later. Your boss will think you have the same thing and it's "going around the office." In fact, most of the time, your boss will do the same thing shortly after you. It's the fake flu.
ant to stop spam calls from a scam company? Go to the companies website an enter in your local congressman's office contact info and phone number. Your congressman's office line will get bombarded with spam calls and will hopefully take action against the company.
ad a good first date from a dating app? Report the person in the app so their account gets ban. That way you limit their dating options and increase your chances of a second date.
Clean your house perfectly before the first working day of your new housekeeper. When she comes, apologize for the huge mess.
If you work at a place that offers surveys on the receipts (fast food, grocery, etc), pocket all of the receipts that customers decline and fill them out with really positive comments about yourself, or really negative comments about your co-workers that you don't like
Give the same perfume to your wife and your girlfriend. It could save your ass one day.
Tell your kid that if he or she doesn't brush their teeth well enough, they'll all fall out. When they start to lose their baby teeth, tell them they didn't do a good enough job. This way, they'll brush their adult teeth really well.
Tired of applying for jobs and never getting called back? Create a fake profile for a super-qualified candidate!
If you see someone shoplifting from superstores this holiday season, just mind your own damn business. Those places don’t pay you to prevent their product loss.
Don't want to spend a small fortune on a wedding ring? Buy an old wedding ring at a pawn shop and say that it was your grandmothers ring. This will give it more sentiment and value than a new ring.
Send a wedding invite to every billionaire you can find an address for, as there's a good chance their assistants just send you a gift without ever confirming who you are or if their boss knows you.
Give fake money to homeless people. They will thank you for it, but also when they get arrested and taken to jail, it’ll reduce the number of homeless people in your area.
If you can't get your roommate to clean up, create a fake Tinder profile, match with them and tell them you're coming over. They'll leave the place absolutely spotless in no time.
Bartenders working Christmas office parties, keep an eye out for the guy who everyone gets along with and is the party animal. Have a laugh with him. Near the end of the night give him a free drink and tell him he'll get another he goes round with a bucket collecting tips for the bar staff.
if you own a business near a Walmart and they compete against you : bombard every walmart employee with unionisation propaganda, the Walmart will layoff everyone and "close for renovations" and you also get a lot of resumes from seasoned retail workers
On most graphing calculators you can archive a program or cheat sheet, and when your teacher erases the RAM before a test you can simply go into the archive that wasn’t wiped and restore the cheat sheet.
If you own a household item that you cannot afford to get repaired keep it in your car. If you are ever in an accident that isn’t your fault you can claim it broke during the collision and get the repair paid for in the insurance claim.
If a meeting is getting too boring, stand up and walk out *quickly* while staring at your phone. Nobody will stop you, and you'll have time to think of a decent excuse before you're interrogated.
If your family or roommates dont want to upgrade internet speed just go into the router admin settings and set their devices to one of the lowest bandwiths possible. When they start complaining about it just tell them that upgrading internet will fix the problem.
If you’re ugly: Schedule a free appointment with a plastic surgeon for something like rhinoplasty (nose job). The doctor takes photos and sends them back to you with alterations so you can see the changes. Use said pictures on dating sites to score more dates.
Starting at a new job? Make sure not to give 100% on your first day. Always give 75%. That way, if you play it down at 50% they'll think you're just having a bad day, and if you later start giving 100% you'll be more likely to get a raise for your improved work effort.
Lie about having a college degree. Companies rarely check them and if they do the only consequence is that they don’t hire you.
Did you get the dreaded SSSS on your boarding pass? Just throw it away and pull up your boarding pass on your phone.
SLPT, ILPT, or LPT? A handy flowchart.
Drug tests at work? Bring homemade food for the office with slight amounts of thc. They can’t fire everyone :)
Take a picture of yourself everyday or every week slowly getting fatter and when you’ve reached a good heavy, post all the photos in reverse along with whatever diet or exercise plan you are selling.
When planting plants on top of dead bodies, make sure to plant an endangered species so it will be against the law to dig it up.
Looking for a gently used video game console/game/tablet this holiday season? Wait outside a GameStop, find someone trading in what you want and tell them you will give them $25 more than whatever GameStop offers them.
Break off the end of any random key in your possession and use it as a prop/proof as to why your late for any obligation (work, social, family) by telling them "My stupid key broke off in my door. Had to call a locksmith/landlord."
If you live with family or spouse now is the best time of year to order questionable things online (sex toys) and just say they can't see it because it's a Christmas present.
if you want to Rummage through someone's desk drawers and are wary of being caught do so with an empty stapler in your hand.
If you want people to stop letting their dogs sh*t on your lawn, don't put up a "no dogs allowed" sign or a "please pick up your sh*t" sign...put up a "Lawn Recently Treated with Toxic Pesticides" sign - nobody wants their doggo or pupper walking around on/accidentally ingesting poison.
College students! Looking for a rich SO? Go to your schools Top Parental Donors page and locate then seduce their kids.
If you hear a mosquito buzzing around at night while you are trying to sleep, cover yourself fully and uncover some skin of your sleeping life partner. You should be safer.
If your ubereats order is missing an item, instead of saying that it is missing an item, say that you received the wrong order. That way they’ll refund the whole order instead of the single missing item
Wanna browse Reddit at work or school without being noticed? This website makes Reddit look like a Microsoft Email account.
Want telemarketers to stop calling you? Sexually harass them.
A little paint on the visor of a riot helmet will render them entirely useless.
hen going for interview make your 2 or 3 friends to sign up for interview as well and tell them to give the stupidest interview ever.
Need a phone and/or cash? Volunteer to clean up after a big concert. People tend to lose their stuff there.
Take your student ID card with you everywhere you go even if you aren't a student anymore. Many places have good student discounts, and the employees usually don't care to ask if you're a current student at a university
Own a coffee shop and need to boost your sales? Trigger fire alarm in the local office buildings. Their employees will have to go out and will probably want to grab a drink while they wait.
When going for a new job, tell them you earn more than you currently do but you’re “happy to stay at your current salary”. They’ll usually give you a little bit more anyway so you’ll get a nice raise for yourself.